When I was a senior in college I decided that it was important to go on a spring break trip. Why? Because I had never been on one that didn’t involve my mother or father reminding me to put on more sunscreen because I have “such sensitive” skin. There was only one person I could think of to go on this epic adventure with we shall call him Sean. Sean is gay as all my guy friends are, but is one of the only ones that can kick my ass in a dance-off in under 3 seconds. Once we decided to go together, the first place that came to our minds was the Dominican Republic. Soon enough the trip came and we ended up in Punta Cana aka the college spring break shit show.
Our first night being there we befriended a bartender named Ernesto with a great smile and spoke broken English. We convinced him as we got more and more wasted off shitty El Presidente beer to take us to a local spot so we could dance. What he forgot to tell us was that his best friend (another bartender) was joining us. In a flash we were on motoconchos (mop-ed taxis) going somewhere. Sean and I were clueless, drunk, and had no identification or cell phone with us. It was such a smart plan. All of a sudden the “taxi” driver stops the vehicle and our Dominican friend pays him. We walk into an outdoor bar with a major dance scene. Ernesto’s friend Amauri looked exactly like Tyrese Gibson therefore Sean and I called him that. He would forever be Tyrese. Tyrese grabbed my hand and started moving his hips before we even got the the floor. One problem that my spring break boyfriend and I had was that either of us spoke the others language well enough to have any form of a real conversation. It consisted of, “Hola” and I would smile back “HOLA”. Throughout the night we just said hi to each other. Basically we were engaged.
The night ended with him saying something about my hotel room and me telling him that i was like soooo tired and didn’t feel comfortable that he couldn’t pronounce my name. I think the moral of this post is that everyone needs to go on at least one crazy spring break trip in their life. Whether that includes speaking spanish gibberish or stealing your parents car to road trip with your friends. GO