Something about my prom just screams Spanx and not enough padding in my push up bra. For most other people their’s screams throwing up on their date or hooking up with their ex-friend’s new boyfriend. I wasn’t your typical senior in high school not only was I everyone’s friend and no one’s girlfriend, but I was a hormonal psycho who had crushes on any male that walked. I also hadn’t figured out what the whole “being feminine” thing was so in an attempt to flirt I wouldn’t playfully hit someone’s arm I would shove them into a door making them bruised and upset. Of course in my head I was the queen of sexy encounters where I played “the game.” Again, I was an idiot and didn’t realize that a little mystery always helps in the courting phase of things.
To my surprise I was asked to my senior prom. And in a way I will truly never forget it. Every Tuesday morning my high school would enter into our auditorium and look at the front to watch people make announcements that no one cared about. A friend of mine, it was in fact a guy, entered the stage to make soccer announcements as he did weekly. At the end, the famous hawaiian version of “over the rainbow” entered the loud speaker as he asked in front of the whole school whether I would go to the dance with him. I of course didn’t think he was talking to me and was flipping through the latest Us Weekly magazine. When I figured the whole thing out I threw the magazine under my chair, did a pageant wave for everyone and gracefully tripped when I went to give him a hug.
My senior prom went quite smoothly but one really has to take note in their life that when you are at an underage drinking after-party there is a 100% certainty that someone will get incredibly sick and possibly vomit on you. This didn’t happen to me. What did happen is the science geek who I happened to have a crush on for that day… let’s call him Sean made out with a girl in front of me, vomited a little on the terry cloth hotel robe he had slipped into and then tried to touch my boob and ask if I was bored?
The learning lesson today is in the future if any Sean’s come after your boob this is the time to throw them into a door as opposed to if you actually wanted your boob touched.